First steps

Elin took her first few steps to me today! They weren’t slow steps; she was determined to get to me quick!

I was going through my daily photos for my 365 project and I came across this one. For each additional child we’ve had, time has flown by that much quicker. Unfair, but the reason why I was in no rush for Elin to take her first steps. So while this picture may not be of any baby milestone it is really just for me to hold onto this fleeting moment.


Dear Siri,

Two days ago you told me, “Mommy I can’t be a Mommy when I grow up because I’m going to be a doctor.” You said it in a voice as if you were apologizing to me for it or seeking my approval. You said it while I was down on my knees at your level and you sort of touched my shirt as you said it without making eye contact. I just said, “OK you can be a doctor.” Later that night you told me the same thing and I said, “You can be a mommy AND a doctor,” using my ‘how cool is that?!’ voice. You said very matter-of-fact, “no, just a doctor.” I replied, “you don’t have to be a mommy. You can just be a doctor.” That settled it.

I love you and always will. You can be a doctor, a mommy, a doctor AND a mommy or none of the above. I will approve of anything that makes you happy.


Dear Elin,

Happy first birthday! I cannot believe how fast the past year has gone by. You are undoubtedly the happiest baby in the world. No question – I’m sure no one would dispute it! You smile and laugh all the time. We couldn’t imagine our family without you in it.

On the day you were born I was so, so excited to meet you. I knew you were a girl but I had no idea what you would look like. I thought for sure you would come out with dark hair and look more like me! Throughout my entire pregnancy I just wanted to be sure you were healthy. When I was pregnant with you they told me I had these placenta bands that could possibly catch on to one of your limbs or a finger, toe, etc and that that limb might not grow properly or you could be born without a finger or toe! I remember thinking about it before bed quite a few nights and worrying! But you came out absolutely perfect!! 9lbs 5 oz of perfection! It felt like it took forever for the doctor to finish with my surgery. I remember wanting to hold you so badly!! It was all I could think about. Your Dad brought you to me and when I looked at you I thought you looked a little like me, more than Cas and Siri did anyway. You were the happiest most content newborn. You had a bit of red on your eyelids and the back of your neck. It looked almost like a rash. The doctor said it was something that would always be with you that would come up whenever you get worked up. But I haven’t seen it since, maybe because you’ve been such an easy-going baby. Siri and Cas came to see you on the second day. Cas ran around the hospital room and played with everything. Siri climbed in bed with me and couldn’t get enough of you! She was fascinated by you. She loved your little fingers and toes. She sat there with me the entire visit just looking at you and touching you. She is still so much in love with you and has to squeeze you at least once a day just to show you just how much. You’ll play downstairs right with her and Cas just to prove that you’re a big kid too. Sometimes I’ll look down in the playroom to see you and Cas standing there at the couch playing with cars and trucks. Your brother and sister love having you around. They love to make you laugh. Any time they do something to make you laugh they have to do it over and over to hear you laugh again and again. They just adore you.

You are learning so much so quickly. You’re my baby but venturing out more and more. You climb. You’ve just started climbing on the craziest things and I think what are you doing?! You climbed on an ottoman and stood there yesterday. Two days ago you climbed on top of a chair in the playroom and just stood there holding on to the back of the chair. It’s the craziest sight – just a little chubby baby standing there on a chair. You go up and down the stairs. If you’re on the couch you get down by yourself! I’ll get nervous (obviously!) when you climb on something or if you’re standing and getting a bit too courageous in the bathtub, so I’ll reach out to grab your arm and lately you’ve been pushing me away! Miss independent! Recently, I’ve asked you questions like, “do you want a piece of bread?” or “do you want Daddy?” and you’ll shake your head yes or no! I’ll ask you for a kiss and you lean your head into mine. You are such a little cuddler. I love it in the morning when you first wake up and I nurse you. You’re so warm and you just love to be held and cuddled. I truly enjoy and cherish those moments. Then you’re ready to go! You’ve only had formula for the first time a week ago and only a few times since while I’m at work. I still nurse you in the morning and at night. You never took a pacifier. I tried. You weren’t having any part of it. You have two teeth on the top, two on the bottom with another coming in on the bottom. You point to things. You laugh so much!!! Oh I love your little baby laugh! And the best part is, you laugh after one of us laugh. Like you’re joining in on the fun! You are so much fun. You like to be chased. You’ll crawl away so fast! You love to be thrown in the air. You’ll laugh and laugh and laugh each time you’re tossed up, but if we stop you start whining – once we start its back to your cute baby giggles. You aren’t walking yet but you will be any day now. You have the chubbiest, softest cheeks and I could kiss them all day!

You have made me a better mommy this past year. Your easygoingness has rubbed off on me. You’ve helped me to see things differently. You are a blessing and such a joy. You are my happy, sweet little baby girl and I love you so, so, so much!


1 year stats (2/13/12): height 29.5″ – 61%; weight 23.4 lbs – 78%; head circumfrence 47.25 cm – 94%.


Somehow by the third child this is the nickname I’d assigned to breastfeeding. I’d say it aloud, maybe to give it a cute name for the kids to hear although I’m really not sure why. Now, when Elin cries Siri will use this term to tell me to nurse her. Just the other day she and Elin were playing downstairs and Elin started crying. Siri shouted up to me using her I’m-a-big sister-helper voice, but very matter of fact, “Mom, baby sister wants to nursey-noo!”