Today I received this link via a local homeschool listserv to this Stanford study which shows that a variety of brain circuits are engaged when children hear their mother’s voice. It got me thinking. I have guilt about being at work all day. The guilt comes and goes, but when it goes it’s still there, under the surface ready to present itself at any given moment. Eric is a phenomenal dad, no doubt about it. I am so fortunate that he is willing to be home with the kids. So we’ve switched the traditional roles. Like anything it has its pros and cons and is confusing at times.
I have a great career. I work with amazing people who are kind, encouraging and flexible. I get 5 weeks of vacation along with various other wonderful benefits. I don’t work crazy hours. I’m able to head into work when Eric gets home; I usually make it in anywhere between 9-9:30 a.m. It’s all relative of course, but for our family and our cost of living, I make great money. We could get by without Eric’s part-time income.
I say this not to brag, but because there is a trade-off. I’m not home with my kids and often times, I try to come up with a master plan that would allow us to make that happen. The ideas change and evolve over time, but the desire to be home, to be present for my children daily, is there always. To me its almost like I’m going against what nature intended for me. I breastfed, I slept with my babies and I believe in attachment parenting. And here I am, at work every day away, detached.
So today, I read this study about a mother’s voice and of course, because I’m in this guilty-I’m-not-home state of mind I start thinking that my kids don’t hear my voice enough throughout the day and how I need to change that. This is all crazy mom-guilt, right? I was even thinking that it would be great for them to be able to hear my voice and see me. So I came up with this idea that I should make a vlog just for them. I’m not sure that I’ll be able to make a video every day, but I would love to. I’m thinking I’ll tell them some random interesting facts, share links to videos or websites I think they should check out – sort of like my way of strewing for their unschooling while I’m away. I’m sure they’d enjoy the videos and I think I’d feel better too, knowing that they’re getting a little dose of me even when I’m not there and also that I’m contributing to home life. And if I know my kids like I think I do, I’m willing to bet that they’ll start making videos for me too.