If you would have asked me when Cas was 4 weeks old how having 2 under 2 was going, I’d probably have said, “Good, everything is good. Tired but good.” Now that we’re 5 months in, I look back at those first 3 months and think, ‘Woah. That was tough.’ Tough in a good way, of course. But tough. Seriously tough. I would say the hardest part was when they would both be crying at the same time, not just whining cries that you can sort of ignore here and there, but those “I need you NOW!” cries. I remember once when both of them were having a meltdown. Cas needed to eat and Siri needed to be held. Asking a toddler to ‘wait one minute’ doesn’t work as one might think it would. So I was breastfeeding Cas and holding Siri at the same time, trying to sooth them both at once. Doesn’t sound so bad in blog form 3 months later, but at the time, it was hard. Back then, we were just in survival mode and getting through each day the best we could and we did just fine. Great, I’d say. But I was zombie like. I remember coming into work some mornings and realized I hadn’t even brushed my hair that day (and wait, did I brush my teeth?) But both kids are happy, healthy and strong and no one was hurt in the process. What more could we ask for?
Eric and I were just saying the other day that its starting to get a little easier. We agreed that actually, when Cas was 3 months old it started to get easier. Then by 4 months we were able to think about other things than plain survival and then by 5 months we’re actually starting to function and do those other things (like vacuuming the dust bunnies from under Siri’s crib).
And now we’re able to see the fruits of our labor since Cas and Siri are really starting to interact. Siri is rough with him sometimes. She tries to pick him up and there have been more than a handful of times that she’s actually gotten into his exersaucer with him. I’ll be in the kitchen or think that I can just run upstairs to change for work. I’ll hear him cry and I just know that she must be doing something that is hurting him. I’ll come down and basically see her smushed in the exersaucer sort of behind and on top of him and he just has this look on his face like “help!” And of course she has this look on her face like, “What? Just thought I’d join brother in here and we’d be smushed up in this thing together.” She’s so used to having him around. I have to remind her that he’s just a baby and she has to be careful. But there are plenty of good interactions too. There are far more kisses given then anything else. She randomly kisses him… very often. And he randomly laughs at her for just being who she is. You don’t get a closer friend.
I’m so so so glad we have 2 under 2. I knew I wanted them close (how much closer can they be than one egg after the other?) but I think we’ll wait a bit for the next one. I want to soak everything in and enjoy this time together as a family of 4. I definitely want 1 or 2 more, we both do, but probably not until Cas is around 2. I’m so looking forward to this summer and playing with both kids outside, going on walks and having fun! I feel like I’ve been pregnant for the last couple of years (I have been!) and now I won’t have anything holding me back! Plus, we have more dust bunnies we need to get to.
So, I really need to get back to blogging to get all of my thoughts out in one place. It’s hard to keep track of anything, let alone my thoughts with the lack of sleep. How I miss sleep. I remember when I was pregnant with Siri and I would jokingly tell people ‘oh, I’m gonna miss my sleep’ but really I had no idea just how much I would miss it. Someone at work, about the same age as me with 2 kids (one, a daughter Siri’s age and the other an older boy) told me once when I asked her how things were going, that her daughter didn’t sleep well at night. She told me that she had actually dreamed of going to a hotel one night to sleep. I laughed. I only had Siri then. Now, I’m at the point where I would love to have a dream about sleep. Seriously. No, seriously. This may just be because it’s been a rough couple of nights with Cas. Last night he was having a hard time falling asleep and was basically up from midnight until 2:30 am. To top it off, I had a hard time falling asleep myself because the man who lives across the street from me (who is a nice old man) thinks its OK to leave his dog tied to a tree, in the freezing cold (although he does it in the summer too) while his dog barks and barks and barks… at 10:30 pm. Who does that?
I remember being tired when Siri was still at the age of waking up in the middle of the night, but not like this. Eric and I are thinking of getting away for a night for our 5 year anniversary in May and staying the night at a hotel. It’ll be nice to just be us (we haven’t had a date since December 2009 which is most likely the night I got pregnant with Cas!), to go out to a nice dinner and have a few drinks. But do you know what I look forward to the most? Sleeping in until 7:30 am.
Having 2 under 2 is hard work. Then again, I’m sure having 2 of any age is hard. But I do know its oh so worth it. Like when Siri says Cas or ‘bruhher’ or when she dances around him and he gives a big smile. And for all the times he just watches her and everything she does.
I’ve been slowing down these days. Less than 8 weeks until baby #2 arrives and I’m looking forward to the days when I have my energy back. I feel bad for both Siri and Eric on the days that I get tired easily. Eric woke up with Siri both days this weekend (we usually each take a weekend day) and it was nice sleeping in. I also got a pedicure yesterday which was amazing. Something just came over me all of a sudden and I had to have a pedicure! So glad I did.
Siri’s getting fussier these days, but I know its just a phase. It’s just that her fusses aren’t just little whines, they’re loud shrieks! It’s mostly when we take something from her that she shouldn’t have. I try to divert her attention to something else but she just gets so worked up! I figure she’s got two months to get past this phase before I have to deal with it on little or no sleep and a newborn! I’m sure she’ll be on to some other phase by then. Even with her occasional rants, she’s still such a good baby. She’s so much fun. Eric and I are often overwhelmed by how much we love her.
We were eating popcorn today and she was just helping herself to handfuls of it. I put some of her own in a little bowl so she wouldn’t get any kernels. When she was just about at the end of the bowl, she was alternating between feeding herself a piece and then feeding Tess a piece. She absolutely loves her dog.
She’s also been chewing on our shoes these days! I can’t decide if I should ignore it or tell her no. I feel that she does it just for my attention- she thinks its hilarious. If I’m not looking at her, and trying to ignore her, she comes right up to me so I can see her. Another one of those phases that need to pass soon!
Paige and Brian stayed with us for a few days and just seeing Cambrie and Brayden interact made me think about Siri’s sibling. I’m really looking forward to seeing Siri with him or her. I think it will be so good for her. A best friend. And someone else to love. How great is that? I’m excited to see if ‘it’ will be a he or a she and who it will look like. Mostly, I hope that he or she is healthy. I can’t believe our next little one will be here soon! How amazing it will be to be a family of four!